...Er, um, Hello!

My name is Augustus. I have parents. Sometimes life can be difficult. I possess the great skill of being able to charm the socks off of anyone who chances to spot me, a rare occurrence indeed. [The spotting, that is; not the charming!]
However, for you, Dear Reader, I am prepared to divulge my deepest thoughts and perspective of the world, mostly because if I don't tell somebody what is going on around here, I am going to pop!
But be warned, proceed with caution: Living with Mummy and Dad can be rather harrowing at times...

Tuesday, March 20, 2018

Dental Seizure



Dad behaved badly this morning - I can't think why. 

I was on the bathroom counter minding my own business, listlessly chewing on his toothbrush (it tasted deliciously like peppermint, which I love!), while waiting for my morning drink from the faucet, when Dad quite rudely snatched the dental accoutrement from my grasp and THREW IT IN THE TRASH CAN! 

Then he said I ought not to be doing that. 


I was astonished at his bizarre behavior - out of the blue, snatching things from people and throwing perfectly good toothbrushes away.

 I am thinking I should tell Mummy about it 'cause that doesn't seem right. 

Next thing you know, he'll be throwing away that glass I drank out of!

Interrogations





Mummy has a bizarre habit of asking the silliest questions. I am of the opinion that most situations are self-explanatory but nevertheless she persists in her inquisitions.
Here are some examples of what we kitties must tolerate each and every day of our 9 lives, along with the obvious [I think] answers:

What ARE you doing? [I am thinking, Mummy, that it should be apparent. If you are done, I will get back to shredding this plant now. ]
Why do you persist in ignoring me? [When you have something important to discuss, I will definitely listen. For example, tell me all about what we are having for dinner – that will get my attention. Better still, show me!]
Why must we always have mice floating in the water dish?[They were dirty!]
Where are all your toys? [Under the sofa…where you obviously hide them. I merely mention it…]
WHO is plucking on the carpet? [Um, not me! *scamper, scamper, scamper*]
What DO you think you are doing? [What do YOU think I am doing?]
Why do you have to have all the cabinet doors
 open? [I can’t see through them, you know.]
Why can’t you keep your litter in the box where it belongs?[Oh, is that where it goes?]
Who pulled the clothes out of the laundry hamper? [*crickets chirping*]
Who ate the tops off all the muffins? [mmm…Mot me! *swallow* I was just standing here, honest!]
Where did my pen go? [*THWACK* 10 points! Yaaaaayy, yaay, ya…UM..aheh…*gulp*]
WHO DID THAT? [What?]
What are trying to tell me? [Are you deaf?]
Where are you? [Not telling…]
Why did you do that? [You wouldn’t understand. Best to leave it alone.]
Are you ever going to learn? [Learn what, exactly?]
Are you sleepy? [No…*yawn*...ZZzzzz…]

I could go on but the list is endless, and I wouldn’t want to bore anyone. To be sure, Mummy is, I think, a bit out of her mind. I mean to say, who would not know all of the above without resorting to a thousand questions? 
Only a parent, I s'pose.

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

Merry Christmas To All My Family and Friends!



Merriest of holidays to all!

It has been a long time since Mummy even bothered to update my diary so there is much to catch up on. But I do not wish to bore, only to say that we kits love all our family and friends very much and especially thank Unca David and Aunt Chrystal for looking after us when Mummy abandons us. 
And for making sure their urchins got bigger instead of staying small and bothersome over the years.  

And we would like to thank Cousin Carl (aka Private Small Frye) for keeping his parents in line when they don't do things right. He knows how to run the place! Going to make a fine general some day.

Whisker-y kisses and fuzzy hugs to everyone!

Love, 

Augustus, Man of the House.
Except when he is bad and opens all the kitchen cabinets. 
And nabs the treats Mosby works so very hard to get from the treat tower.
And hangs on Mummy's arm, all claws, while she is trying to type at her computer. (Which he might be doing as we speak...).

And the list goes on. But as I said, it is not my desire to bore.

*AHEM*


Here are pictures of a few of us getting into the ol' Christmas spirit!








Saturday, March 19, 2016

Augustus, Enigma


Hello, Everyone!

To while away the long, dreary hours that is our life, Mummy made a digital puzzle of me on jigidi, and I want to share it with you all in case you are looking for something to do while lounging.

If you wish to solve the puzzle that is Augustus (er, that didn't come out right...), please go here:

Augustus' Puzzle

Do let me know if you enjoyed it!



Thursday, July 30, 2015

Poor, Dear Mummy

Mummy is hurt!

It’s like this…

I am Man Of The House, and as such Mummy leaves me in charge when she is gone, even if it is just outside for a few minutes.

As Man Of The House, it is my solemn duty, once I have made my rounds and ensure all kits are behaving themselves adequately, to inspect all cabinets in the house.

It is a tedious job but someone has to do it.

Anyways, it was getting dark when I finished the last kitchen cabinet.  There were a few trays stacked neatly in this one as well as an interesting sack full of what nots that I was sure Mummy had forgotten about – she needed to be reminded of their existence, in case there was something she no longer wants or needs that kits may find enjoyable to play with. *cough*

As I was perusing the scattered contents of the now tipped over sack, Mummy came blasting in from her evening Outdoor Chores (mysterious doings we kits are hard pressed to explain, particularly in 105 degree weather), and as she was headed straight for the darkening kitchen, and - as previously mentioned – I was just about done with my job for the night, I biffed off to inspect something – anything – else….

A bang.

A shout.

A “Who the blazes...?”…

It occurred to me that I may have, in my haste to disappear, er, finish up in other areas of the house, failed to close the doors in the kitchen and that Mummy, poor thing, unable to see so vividly in the dark as we kits (not everyone can be endowed with such unique skill) ran smack into it. I peeked around the corner to find Mummy hobbling about and muttering to herself. I admit to finding it a smitch humorous that she is so clumsy.....

Funny, I would swear I heard my name mentioned but can’t think why.

Seeing as Mummy is not feeling too grand, and further seeing that she is beginning to make a sinister connection between her bump in the dark and my daily duties, I feel it best to allow her time to settle down. Later on I will, perhaps, check in on her. For now, I will endeavor to continue my duties upstairs.


Did I mention I hadn’t even gotten to the cabinets in Dad’s study yet? 

Thursday, June 26, 2014

The Belly Of The Beast



So sorry for leaving you all in suspense while poor Fletcher's life hung in the balance!

My friends will be pleased to note that after much begging and pleading (also with a little help from Mummy who wrestled The Monster to the floor and ripped off his entire tummy to retrieve Fletcher from his lint-covered prison), Fletcher is safe! 

He was in relatively good spirits after his ordeal, bouncing around and saying he would know what to do about it if that Great Oaf Monster ever tried any funny business like that again. Fletcher, er, did need a bit of a bath, and Mummy thought it judicious to simply wash him with the towels - he came out sparkling white and smelling like flowers! 

Now, to keep him from tearing into The Monster, I keep Fletcher as far away as possible when Mummy is walking the fell beast. 

Thanks ever so for all the support and encouragement - it is an ordeal Fletcher will not soon forget!             

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Monster Alert!

Everyone come quickly - poor Fletcher Mouse has been eaten by The Monster From Beneath The Stairs

The worst part is that you can still see him in The Monster's tummy, all wrapped up in dust bunnies (it is pretty gruesome so be prepared...). Mummy was taking The Monster for a walk through the kitchen when suddenly things got out of hand (Mummy's), and Fletcher, who was minding his own business inspecting the underside of the cabinet, was sucked up with the various floor fauna. (I suspect Mummy was trying to hold the creature with only one hand, a major no-no with Monsters, but I don't like to say it is her fault). 

What on earth am I going to do? 
Who will save Fletcher?? 

And, half a second...Hey! The Monster ate my silver twisty-tie thing, too!