Monster in the Sky

My friends, I am here to relay a most disturbing incident or occurrence – 

to wit, one Mummy was headed for the waterfall [code word: SHOWER] where said Mummy, for reasons inexplicable, loves to stand morning and night, dousing herself with all over bubbles then washing said bubbles down the drain, when she touched a button on the wall, and a most extraordinary event took place.

I must first explain that it was a quiet morning, cozy and peaceful, if a bit chilly. Wandering aimlessly in pursuit of the perfect snoozely spot, I decided to follow Mummy to the “SHOWER” room and ask her opinion on the subject of nap locations. As is typical of a Mummy on a Mission, she ignored my inquiry and prepared for her ablutions. 

Only she touched the button first….

On the wall of said Shower Room, there are buttons. Most of the time, it appears Mummy is just whacking at the wall for the fun of it, though admittedly lights have been known to come on and off when she touches these intriguing wall nubs, purely coincidentally of course. Only the particular button in question is situated on the far wall opposite the door and is rarely, if ever, given notice. But this day, Mummy, as I said, touched this button.

Immediately my head swiveled ‘round in horror as the first strains of groaning, then a roar, emitted from some unknown source. Where had I heard this type of sound before? Could it be…?

Turning quickly this way and that, I soon discovered, if not what it was, at least from whence it came – the sky!

That is correct: something ominous was bleating deafeningly from overhead, and as I gazed upon the apparent source of commotion, my eyes widened in horror to see that this Creature From Above was beginning to glow red in its fury.

It was alive!

I crouched in horror, peeking carefully sideways for a way of escape. This Monster could see me, and there was no place to hide (drat Mummy’s anti-clutter policy!). Making my mind [such as it is] up to retreat to lesser known regions of the house, I twirled wildly and came nose to nose with the blighted door. Mummy had apparently closed this wooden nuisance in a blatant attempt to entrap me with The Monster. What was worse (if it be even slightly possible) – Mummy was busy lathering up and had no thought for my safety. I was sure she had plotted my demise from the start, luring me into the bathroom with promise of a frank discussion on where to catch some Z’s, only to allow me to be eaten by this fire-breathing dragon. Indeed, this thing was now glowing brightly and emitting intense heat from its vengeful breathing. I began to choke, and my life (number 7, I think) passed before my eyes….

I came to and found myself backed into the furthest corner available, cowering beneath the red stare when I heard the waterfall stop. Mummy stepped out onto the plush white rug (note: where I would have been lounging while waiting for our chat had I not been viciously attacked by this brute of a dragon), and as swiftly as it began, the roaring ended. Perhaps it was afraid of Mummy?

In the deafening silence, I made no delays heading for the door a second time, shouting at Mummy to let me out of this wicked place. She obligingly released me from my prison, and I jumped frantically to the other side, relieved to be in the free world again. Without explanation, Mummy laughed. And she said I was an old silly for being afraid of Mr. Overhead Heater, the name she gave The Monster In The Sky.

I don’t care who he is, I retorted – he ought not to be allowed to go about the place terrifying innocent kits in such a manner. But she persisted in her theory that I was full of rot and nonsense.

I say! Mummy stands under running water, pouring on niffy bubbly stuff and getting soaked from stem to stern, then has the audacity to say that I am full of rot for being afraid of a red-eyed, fire-breathing monster?

Who is the silly one, I ask you?

That, my friends, is a purely rhetorical question.

Hmmph.