Yard Work[over]

It is that time of year again, says Mummy, when one must turn one’s thoughts to the Great Outdoors and things that must be done to get the yard ready for spring viewing. Of course, we kits are the only ones who view it (via the Great Indoors) but that is neither here nor there, as They say.

What is glaringly apparent, continues Mummy, is that our yard looks perfectly rotten! Had I known this, of course, I would have taken a stricter line with said Mummy, ensuring we kits were not embarrassed knowing the neighbors might have seen our wayward acreage but still, there it is.

The reality? There is this whacking great patch of lawn full of rolling hills and weeds (the likes of which should win Mummy some sort of award for Most Unwanted Varieties in a Single Piece of Landscape or some such thing). So Mummy has decided, at much risk to our capital investment expenditures on fish, to install a Patio, teeming with flagstones and walls, surrounded by deep beds begging for lush plantings which, says she, will make her yard work simpler. I say it is most distressing to suddenly find the lawn crawling with fellows who, unannounced, could have been burglars of any variety. And to hear the ominous sounds of gargantuan Monsters chewing up the turf is, frankly, a bit thick for this quiet-craving guy.

For my part, I have taken the occasional peek out the window, keeping myself carefully hidden from view – I am, after all, in my skivvies – while maintaining some measure of composure for documenting the facts. So far, these fellows have dumped piles of rocks and dirt everywhere, pulled up plantings and otherwise generally ruined what I always thought was a tidy but of landscape. In other words, it [still] looks perfectly rotten.

I think Mummy’s plan is a bust. 

How to break it to her, that is the burning issue of the hour….