...Er, um, Hello!

My name is Augustus. I have parents. Sometimes life can be difficult. I possess the great skill of being able to charm the socks off of anyone who chances to spot me, a rare occurrence indeed. [The spotting, that is; not the charming!]
However, for you, Dear Reader, I am prepared to divulge my deepest thoughts and perspective of the world, mostly because if I don't tell somebody what is going on around here, I am going to pop!
But be warned, proceed with caution: Living with Mummy and Dad can be rather harrowing at times...

Thursday, January 26, 2012

All In A Day's Work

I wasn't getting enough attention this morning, what with Dad traveling the world and Mummy working devotedly at her desk. Everyone else was snoozing so I had no one to play with - they are no fun, the whole blasted lot of them! I mean to say, what good is it jumping on counters and opening forbidden doors if no one is awake to see it? [clarification: There is much value in Mummy not being around to see those things]
So I did the only logical thing any normal person would do: I jumped onto Mummy's desk and landed SPLAT on her keyboard, right in the midst of her vicious typing (I am sure it was nothing important; she mentioned something about working on a pricing contract or some other petty document). I then rolled over on my back, nestling into the keys and exposing all my curly tummy furs in the hopes of getting a nice tummy rub. It didn't work - Mummy quite rudely tried to push me aside with one hand but as I weigh alot, she was none too successful. Being, ahem, hefty always plays in my favor! :)
My next move was to reach up with my big feet and pat her face, something she usually adores but this time seemed not to have gone over so well (I may have accidentally grazed her chin with a passing claw...). So I switched to plucking softly at her clothes to subtly remind her of my presence. My claw most unfortunately got caught in the fabric and even though I pulled and pulled, the blighted shirt kept hanging on to me. I eventually caught a skinny thread and pulled it all the way out towards me before Mummy rescued me from the clutches of that evil fabric. Mummy put that thread in its place, too - she tugged and pulled at it, then got a little hook thingy to pull the thread back through to the other side, anchoring it down so that it will never be able to attack me again. While she was fixing that, I cleaned her desk, demonstrating with a few sweeps of my fluffy tail how easy it is to end desktop clutter (I like to show Mummy what a great help I am). At this point, Mummy became brisk and was, I felt, too distracted to appreciate my presence so I gave it up and biffed off to find someone else to charm. Fat lot of good, since they were all still asleep. Oh well, Dad's coming home tomorrow!

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