...Er, um, Hello!

My name is Augustus. I have parents. Sometimes life can be difficult. I possess the great skill of being able to charm the socks off of anyone who chances to spot me, a rare occurrence indeed. [The spotting, that is; not the charming!]
However, for you, Dear Reader, I am prepared to divulge my deepest thoughts and perspective of the world, mostly because if I don't tell somebody what is going on around here, I am going to pop!
But be warned, proceed with caution: Living with Mummy and Dad can be rather harrowing at times...

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Take-Charge Checklist

On consideration of my newfound role as Man Of The House, not to mention its innumerable responsibilities, I have decided to follow Dad’s example of making a list so I won’t forget anything. (It didn’t always work for Dad but that is another matter…). To this end, I have compiled a few notes regarding everyday tasks with which I must concern myself, endeavoring to remember all the while that I can only do so much:
-Wake Mummy at 5:00 a.m. using patented Whisker Alarm
-Watch Tippy head to the litter box [note – remember to plug nose. Where is that clothespin?]
-Observe Mummy making breakfast in case she does it wrong, reminding her incessantly that I need a drink from the bathroom faucet, too.
-Eat breakfast [should this be first, do you think? Work on this]
-Sit with Nutmeg on the bathroom sink, overseeing Mummy cleaning litter boxes in next room
-Demand a drink from the sink [again]
-Drink from the sink with Nutmeg
-Check to be sure mouse is in Pool, er, water bowl [red one today, pink tomorrow, I think]
-Sit in chair by window and make a show of straining to see through the as yet closed blinds which Mummy is late opening [again]
-Look mournfully back at Mummy as she passes by
-Stare out of newly opened blinds at the ivy bed, in case a critter shows up [or a burglar – you never know!]
-Take a nap in chair by window
-Eat mid-morning snack after dropping bouncy ball into crunchy bowl [bowl #5 today looks good, try #7 tomorrow]
-Inspect Mummy’s work at her desk, rearrange as necessary for the best layout [I need lots of space for my afternoon nap!]
-          Lunchtime!
-Take nap in chair by window [didn’t I already do this? Oh yes, I do it again post-lunch – forget my own name next!]
-Wake up, blink, remember where I am, jump to floor and do stretches [We must not neglect exercise!]
-Continue nap in bed with everyone else
-Afternoon snack with Princess, first making sure bouncy ball has not been removed by the Mumster or other fell creature
-Locate Mummy and look really cute, pat her face and stare into her eyes until she melts (or tells me to find someone else to haunt ‘cause she’s working)
-Wander through house, inspecting each room for monsters, misbehaving cats and/or burglars (or food, as the case may be)
-Run from Tippy *ERASE, ERASE, ERASE* [remove this from list before posting in diary]
-Lay on stairs with head hanging over and dream of Dad coming home
-Wake up in time to observe Mummy from my aerie as she prepares dinner [Tuna tonight – yay!]
-Dig into the foodstuffs, avoiding sitting next to Mosby who smacks his food really loudly [Must speak to Mummy about this. Hmmph!]
-Evening tea with Mummy [remind her that it is my turn to sit in her lap tonight – set as “recurring”]
-Snooze while Mummy reads and writes
-Wake up to find myself in the fluffy comforter

BLAST! I forgot to add bath time…and scolding Tippy for yet another attempt at running away from home (NOTE: give her a very sharp look next time)…and removing contents of kitchen cabinets (what a mess – Mummy really needs to clean in there!)…and…um…

Whoosh! I don’t know how Dad accomplished everything he did - I am tired just writing about it!
I will work on my list later; for now, I am declaring an official break.
Men of the Houses only, of course.
Everyone else, back to work!

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