...Er, um, Hello!

My name is Augustus. I have parents. Sometimes life can be difficult. I possess the great skill of being able to charm the socks off of anyone who chances to spot me, a rare occurrence indeed. [The spotting, that is; not the charming!]
However, for you, Dear Reader, I am prepared to divulge my deepest thoughts and perspective of the world, mostly because if I don't tell somebody what is going on around here, I am going to pop!
But be warned, proceed with caution: Living with Mummy and Dad can be rather harrowing at times...

Thursday, October 25, 2012


I was so excited - the new apples arrived today, a big bag full of fresh, green, shiny globes! Only, Mummy must have forgotten that I need to practice my decorating skills and instead placed them up high...on the counter...far out of my reach. I am sure it was an oversight, she being busy with work and other PETTY things but still it is disappointing. My fabulous career was just beginning and now this set back. 
Life just isn't fair sometimes.


Friday, October 19, 2012

The Case of the Mysterious Moving Pillows


Mummy was cleaning house today, wildly moving things about in her quest to seek out and destroy all living dust bunnies (she was taking no prisoners). 

Now, I tend to look like a dust bunny when viewed from some angles and fear being mistaken for one at some point in my career, thus being swooped up and emptied into the dustbin along with various unidentifiable floor fauna.

So when The Monster comes out and Mummy has rag in hand, I seek refuge in the nearest shelter. 

This time it was the sofa.

On the sofa, there is a mountain of fluffy pillows. Oh so inviting, they can always be relied upon as a cozy spot for a nice nap, and in this instance I determined that they could serve multiple purposes – viz. both a great snoozely spot and the ideal hiding place.  Only, in order to kill two birds, as they say, with one stone…er, pillow…, I must needs be beneath them.

How else to disguise my fluffy self?

So I climbed Mt. Linen, hoping to find a convenient opening and so burrow my way in. Just as I stepped onto the last peak, however, the pillows shifted, causing me to slide down the hill.

Odd, that.

 Perhaps they were just a bit unsteady. I stepped up again and this time the pillows moved in an upward motion. I was astounded – a volcano on the couch!

The snarl of The Monster was getting closer, and these pillows were simply not cooperating.
Now attempting to gain entrance via one end, I started to push past the first pillow when up it came and bopped me on the nose.

This was too much!

I determined to not only secure my place beneath those rotten cotton squares but to tame them as well. Wiggling my lowered backside, I prepared for the Great Leap. As I sailed through the air with an aim to land on the crest of The Mountain, out bobbed the head of The Fiend Poppet! I became distracted by the sudden appearance of this feline in the mix and landed ruefully upside down among the foothills on the other side.

*blink, blink*

Untwisting my legs from my tail and righting myself, I asked Poppet if he, too, had seen the pillows moving. He merely sniffed then bounded off in the opposite direction, narrowly escaping the clutches of The Monster as he exited the room, leaving me to ponder the bizarre incident. Snatched back to reality by the intensified roar, I quickly determined to save myself first and ask questions later.

I made the Mad Dash after Poppet, looking neither to the left nor to the right in my quest for safety.

Perhaps one day I will unravel the Case of The Mysterious Moving Pillows.

In the meantime, I need a nap!

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Goin’ Campin’



    We got a tent!
It is a nice tent, too, with two windows and a sun roof (plus, er, an additional window we sort of added impromptu...see photo)! 

All day long we have spent playing in our tent, dashing in and out, bobbing our heads up through the roof to spy what might be going on in the great indoors.

Because we have had so much fun in our alternate abode, Mummy is letting us have a camp out tonight replete with marshmallows, popcorn and hot chocolate. Yum!

To that end, I have written a little jingle to describe our first night under the stars:

It is called Campin’ Out.
(sung to the tune of Jingle Bells – I am getting excited about Christmas, can you tell?)

Campin’ out,
Campin’ out,
In the kitchen overnight.
Everthing was goin’ swell
‘Til Mummy turned out the lights!

Come right back!
Turn on the lights!
It’s awfully dark in here!
I think I’ll go
To bed just now
And camp again next year.

Mummy! Wait for me!
*scamper, scamper, scamper*

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Fall Decorating

Today I helped Mummy get the house ready for the new season!

 While she was upstairs cleaning out cabinets in Dad’s study (I won’t go into the inconsistency of the rules that say she gets to rummage in there but I don’t), I tackled the basket full of shiny green apples she recently placed in the floor for my convenience. I began the job by pulling the brilliant orbs one at a time onto the floor then rolling them around while clawing and scrabbling with them. But that was taking too long so I finally got smart and just tipped the basket over (I knew that handle had to have a purpose).

With so many fresh smelling apples all over the floor, I couldn’t decide which to work on first so I just rolled them around and chewed on them for a bit. I discovered that if you poke holes in them, juice seeps out, and my paws did get a bit sticky; otherwise, it was much fun.  I got all the apples just where I wanted them - some against the baseboards, others wedged beneath the console. Still others were scattered upside down at odd intervals over the stone tile.

The bruises and puncture marks added instant character, I thought.

Excited for Mummy to see my handiwork, I lay down amongst the Granny Smiths and rested until she (Mummy, not Granny Smith) came back downstairs. As she approached my display, I was bursting with joy at the thought of how pleased she must be that she did not need to worry about decorating the dining room - it was already done! 

At first, Mummy was so astonished all she could say was, “I don’t believe it!” [I know what she means – it really is a masterpiece.] Then she said, in a notably excited tone, that now she was going to have to buy more apples. It appears she really appreciates my decorating skills and is planning on getting me more materials to work with!

I think I have found my calling – Augustus, Decorator Extraordinaire.