...Er, um, Hello!

My name is Augustus. I have parents. Sometimes life can be difficult. I possess the great skill of being able to charm the socks off of anyone who chances to spot me, a rare occurrence indeed. [The spotting, that is; not the charming!]
However, for you, Dear Reader, I am prepared to divulge my deepest thoughts and perspective of the world, mostly because if I don't tell somebody what is going on around here, I am going to pop!
But be warned, proceed with caution: Living with Mummy and Dad can be rather harrowing at times...

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Closets Are The Worst!

We have this mysterious little closet beneath the stairs, and every few days, Mummy either puts in or takes out (among other things) a stack of these wiry whatsits which she keeps in a basket. Well, I have been dying to find out what she does with those things (not to mention what else might be in there - maybe some toys they forgot to give us, or some extra tubs of catnip, perhaps? What about the entry to China?), so I decided today to do the unthinkable.
Yes. I raided Mummy's closet. Sort of.
Anyway, the problem started when I tried to open the door. I usually can grab a door by the corner and pull fast enough to get my nose in there and keep it from closing on me (this takes years of practice so beware if you are just learning closet breaking). But this door is ALOT heavier than I expected, so I got stuck when it slammed shut on me. My rear end was sticking out, and I could hear Mummy closing the dryer door and heading this way. All I could think about was, well several things:
1) I had to get out of sight FAST.
2) I could see the wiry whatsits - nifty!
3) It was really dark in the back of the closet and dark = creepy...

Mummy was definitely headed my way so I wiggled and squirmed until I got my tummy through the door, and it closed just as my tail slid past (whew! Doors slamming on tails is no fun!!). Now it was dark except for a shaft of light coming through the door. There were two options for hiding as I heard Mummy say my name (rather brusquely, I thought, but there wasn't much time to consider it at the moment): the basket with the wiry things, which looked like a tight fit, or the back of the closet (did I mention it was dark and rather creepy looking? I hate dark, creepy places). So I dove into the pile of wires head first. Mummy opened the door and didn't say anything so I thought I was in the clear - she couldn't see me! But I couldn't stand it and tried to back out, only those dratted wires were stuck all around and making a frightful row. Then Mummy started laughing - which I thought in poor taste - as I pulled myself out of the basket with those crazy wires all around me! I couldn't get out of them, and Mummy was reaching for me, still laughing like a crazy person. It occurred to me then that this was a cat trap, and she had been luring me into it by making sure I saw her put them in and take them out every so often, knowing my insatiable appetite for exploring. Wicked woman!
I panicked and the wires got tighter, slipping and falling and pinching, making so much noise that it hurt my ears. I was sure Mummy was going to murder me just then but strangely enough, she helped me get out of the wires (took her a long time, too), and she told me that they are for hanging clothes, not cats. Once free, I dashed a few feet away and gave the wires a nasty look.
I feel much better now, knowing they aren't there for catching cats, but I think Mummy should be more careful about leaving such dangerous things carelessly lying about.

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