Overcoming Obstacles
To Your New-Found Interior Decorating Career, or
Defying Mummy’s
Attempts at Limiting Your Creativity By Keeping Things Out Of Reach
Step 1 – When Mummy
places the new basket of apples out of reach, say, way up on the counter, leap
to your goal! Now is your chance – seize the day! Or in this case, an apple!
Step 2 – Roll
forbidden fruit to the edge of the counter and push it off, peering over to watch
it fall to the floor…
Step 3 – Gaze
horrified as the apple deviates from the plan and swings wide, smashing into
Mummy’s stemware on the shelf below the counter (thinking harsh thoughts about
the person who left that shelf there to begin with. I am thinking, that is,
not the apple), LOUDLY scattering fragments of glass across the room.
Step 4 – Make a
beeline for the underside of the bathtub, looking neither to the right nor to
the left, just in case Mummy is coming from either direction (how does she
manage to sound like she is coming from everywhere at once?).
At this point in the
proceedings you should be feeling pretty good about your accomplishments,
providing everything has gone according to plan. Since my plan did not quite
work out, I don’t feel so good and believe I will stay here under the tub for a
while to recuperate.
It is my only chance
of survival; Mummy was rather fond of those glasses…
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