...Er, um, Hello!

My name is Augustus. I have parents. Sometimes life can be difficult. I possess the great skill of being able to charm the socks off of anyone who chances to spot me, a rare occurrence indeed. [The spotting, that is; not the charming!]
However, for you, Dear Reader, I am prepared to divulge my deepest thoughts and perspective of the world, mostly because if I don't tell somebody what is going on around here, I am going to pop!
But be warned, proceed with caution: Living with Mummy and Dad can be rather harrowing at times...

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Pure Bliss


What is that saying about Ignorance? Yesterday, I recounted the regrettable actions of The Plant and my response to its impertinence. I may also have carelessly boasted that there would be no evidence linking me to the...er, Incident. Ladies and Germs, I admonish you to always, always look back. I wear a rather fluffy coat. A fluffy coat which sheds. Mummy has in her hand, at this moment, what appears to be a chunk of Augustus fur. It came, says she, from The Plant, or rather [in her terms], “what is left of it.” She called me into the dining room and pointed it out. I asked to which plant did she refer?
She said, “The flattened one.”
 “Oh, that one?”, I said. And followed up with something about how I always thought very highly of that plant.
 “Don’t pretend ignorance, Augustus. I know it was you”, she said.
“Oooh?”, I said.
Then she presented The Evidence, accompanied by a lecture so stiff it could walk on its own four legs. I am now in big trouble, banned from the dining room and threatened with Dad….
…Wait a minute…threatened with **aheh** Dad???

And I was getting worried! Heh, heh, heh… 

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