...Er, um, Hello!

My name is Augustus. I have parents. Sometimes life can be difficult. I possess the great skill of being able to charm the socks off of anyone who chances to spot me, a rare occurrence indeed. [The spotting, that is; not the charming!]
However, for you, Dear Reader, I am prepared to divulge my deepest thoughts and perspective of the world, mostly because if I don't tell somebody what is going on around here, I am going to pop!
But be warned, proceed with caution: Living with Mummy and Dad can be rather harrowing at times...

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Decimation of a Houseplant

There was a plant. No one was around. I was in fine fettle, feeling a bit roguish and kittenly (is that a word?). The plant stood a few feet tall in a wicker basket, straight stalks and leaves reaching ever upward to the ceiling (it had a long way to go, too, ‘cause that ceiling is 22 feet up there!). As previously mentioned, I was full of vim and stuff so could not resist scuttering about the plant, nipping at a leaf here, scratching at the basket there. Then - I am certain - the plant let fall a derogatory comment about my appearance.
I stopped and stared. I gave it a narrow-eyed look. This was the moment I had been waiting for - squatting on my haunches, I made the great leap and landed *SPLAT* in the middle of The Plant, looking neither to the left nor to the right but ever onward in my quest to avenge evil. I sat, I dug, I pawed, bit and scratched. Turning this way and that, I gave every leaf in view a cuff ‘round the ears and made it wilt! Finally, seeing that the plant had backed down and would no longer be in the mood to call names, I hopped down and biffed off to another room for a rest. I had no need to look back - what’s done is done; let the past bury the dead, say I. Besides, Mummy was out so would have no evidence I was even there. All was right with the world… 

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