...Er, um, Hello!

My name is Augustus. I have parents. Sometimes life can be difficult. I possess the great skill of being able to charm the socks off of anyone who chances to spot me, a rare occurrence indeed. [The spotting, that is; not the charming!]
However, for you, Dear Reader, I am prepared to divulge my deepest thoughts and perspective of the world, mostly because if I don't tell somebody what is going on around here, I am going to pop!
But be warned, proceed with caution: Living with Mummy and Dad can be rather harrowing at times...

Monday, March 12, 2012


Mummy has a bizarre habit of asking the silliest questions. I am of the opinion that most situations are self-explanatory but nevertheless she persists in her inquisitions.
Here are some examples of what we kitties must tolerate each and every day of our 9 lives, along with the obvious [I think] answers:

What ARE you doing? [I am thinking, Mummy, that it should be apparent. If you are done, I will get back to shredding this plant now. ]
Why do you persist in ignoring me? [When you have something important to discuss, I will definitely listen. For example, tell me all about what we are having for dinner – that will get my attention. Better still, show me!]
Why must we always have mice floating in the water dish? [They were dirty!]
Where are all your toys? [Under the sofa…where you obviously hide them. I merely mention it…]
WHO is plucking on the carpet? [Um, not me! *scamper, scamper, scamper*]
What DO you think you are doing? [What do YOU think I am doing?]
Why do you have to have all the cabinet doors open? [I can’t see through them, you know.]
Why can’t you keep your litter in the box where it belongs? [Oh, is that where it goes?]
Who pulled the clothes out of the laundry hamper? [*crickets chirping*]
Who ate the tops off all the muffins? [mmm…Mot me! *swallow* I was just standing here, honest!]
Where did my pen go? [*THWACK* 10 points! Yaaaaayy, yaay, ya…UM..aheh…*gulp*]
What are trying to tell me? [Are you deaf?]
Where are you? [Not telling…]
Why did you do that? [You wouldn’t understand. Best to leave it alone.]
Are you ever going to learn? [Learn what, exactly?]
Are you sleepy? [No…*yawn*...ZZzzzz…]

I could go on but the list is endless, and I wouldn’t want to bore anyone. To be sure, Mummy is, I think, a bit out of her mind. I mean to say, who would not know all of the above without resorting to a thousand questions?
Only a parent, I s'pose.

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