The world according to Augustus, a devilishly handsome Maine Coon with the desire to be left alone in his serene world. Behind these satin-finish walls, a world of mayhem and disaster awaits the unsuspecting and innocent Gussie Grey! Follow his recordings of daily life as he deals with the training of Mummy, Dad and a host of cats who refuse to give Augustus a moment's peace.
...Er, um, Hello!
My name is Augustus. I have parents. Sometimes life can be difficult. I possess the great skill of being able to charm the socks off of anyone who chances to spot me, a rare occurrence indeed. [The spotting, that is; not the charming!]
However, for you, Dear Reader, I am prepared to divulge my deepest thoughts and perspective of the world, mostly because if I don't tell somebody what is going on around here, I am going to pop!
But be warned, proceed with caution: Living with Mummy and Dad can be rather harrowing at times...
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Augustus’ Exercise Routine
It takes diligence and stick-to-itiveness to be able to
maintain a physique like mine.
For those who may be struggling with how to
incorporate some much needed exercise into their daily routine, I have noted my
tried and true basic moves to keep the muscles lean and the ol’ heart healthy.
Step 1 – LEGS:
Locate a great place for a nap that includes people
watching views, such as a sofa, stair landing, or chair by the window (my
personal favorite). Walking around to find this place really gets the blood
flowing and the heart racing. Once there, rest a couple of hours before
beginning the next step.
NOTE: Do not despair! This gets easier with practice
because next time you will know where that spot is and be able to go straight
to it. As Dad always says, the fastest route is a straight line!
Step 2 – EYES:
Observe people as they walk by. Mummy for instance,
chasing The Monster around, or Nutmeg chasing Princess around. Perhaps Mummy
and Nutmeg are not at your house on a given day, so you can substitute anyone
who happens to swim into view. This will put a considerable strain on your eyes
so be sure to rest them periodically by closing them, maintaining a sitting* position if possible.
*Advanced. For Beginner level (or if you are just tired), try a laying position.
Step 3 – EARS:
Listen for loud
and unusual noises, carefully swiveling your ears in different directions to
capture the nuances. This will strengthen* the ear muscles, making them supple
and at the ready for sudden sounds of calamity and burglars.
*Side benefit - This can also alert you to more important activities,
such as the opening of a tuna can!
Step 4 – TUMMY:
Last but not least, always remember to concentrate on the
tummy muscles. This requires eating 3 well-balanced meals of
fish-and-anything-else-you-can-get-your-tummy-around, plus snacks. Among
approved* snacks are the following:
Peanut Butter Cookies
*For a complete list of approved snacks, do a pantry and
refrigerator inventory (you might also check known hiding spots, where parents
are famous for placing illicit goodies). As long as it is not moldy, it
qualifies. Exercise this option often, and you will begin to see your waistline
vastly improve [in size].
(Remember to rest afterward)
One can see the tremendous value of incorporating
exercise into one’s daily routine.
As always, take every opportunity to rest
between steps so as not to injure yourself or cause emotional distress. Following
this recommended method will ensure a tranquil existence.
Unless you have parents and siblings.
There really isn’t
much you can do about that, now is there?